Hey everybody, I am sure you can all imagine how hectic life has been lately. Sorry, that I haven't written sooner. When I got back from Mexico my brain and my emotions were on overload. I have needed some time to process. So I am finally at a place that I feel like writing to people. I have been writing lately, but just more for myself. My Mom went staight from her first round of treatment to Colorado to visit her brother. She went for almost a month. She needed some time away, to herself, to process everything. Mexico was intense and much different than I could have ever expected. Mexico does not feel like home. I know...very surprising. Everything was very uncomfortable, more uncomfortable than I imagined it would be. It was one of the most unforgettable experiences of my life, I can say that for it. Dr. Diaz, the doctor that is treating my Mother, is absolutely amazing. Quite possibly the most genuinely loving person I have ever met. He gives everything for his patients. He extends himself far beyond the call of duty. As of right now my Mom is in the middle of her second visit to to the clinic in Mexico. She should be arriving home in about a week. She will then, most likely, be packing up all of her belongings and making the drive to Colorado with her brother and his wife. They are both retired and are currently living in Colorado but are getting ready to move to Oklahoma. My Mom is at the point with her health that she needs help doing basic things on a daily basis. I am obviously not in a position in life where I can quit my job and provide such help. So my uncle and aunt have stepped up to the plate and asked her to go and live with them. I am so thankful that she is being provided for. I know that she will be at peace in their care. I know you all can imagine how hard this change will be for me. We have lived together in our humble apartment for 6 years. It will be quite the adjustment. I know it's best for both of us in our lives at this point. My summer has been beyond challenging. It has been exhausting in some ways but restful in others. I was off work for three months and just returned last week. Needless to say, I am not very excited to be back to work. I am going to school and working currently. As most of you know I am no longer attending Foundation. It was hard for me to talk about when I decided to stop going and quite frankly I really didn't have the energy to with everything else that was going on in my life. My doubt started about two years ago and honestly has just grown worse. I am actually in a very similar place as Rachel. We can relate to each other on many levels when it comes to where we are at in questioning our faith. I am currently not really attending church. I was going to Grace Community Church for a little while but then I started traveling so much this summer that I just couldn't stay consistent with it. I may go back but my doubt is so far advanced at this point that I almost feel hypocritical attending church. That's one of the main reasons I stopped going to Foundation. You can only sit in doubt for so long. I also found that most relationships I once had at Foundation were no longer existent. I am sure that my lack of excitement about the things of God had a great deal to do with that fact, among other things. One can only "fake" it for so long. Not that I was trying to fool anyone because I wasn't, but I was trying to work it out...and the working it out just never worked. The reasons that I was wanting to stay at Foundation were not God honoring reasons. They were reasons of community and obligation, which are obviously not sufficient. I love and appreciate each one of you. That was the hardest thing for me about leaving Foundation.You all are an amazing group of people with incredible hearts. Many of you were practically family to me and I appreciate all the love you have shown to me and my family over the past six years. I am by no means saying I will never return to Foundation. As I know from past experiences, life throws its curve balls. In fact I have been considering coming to visit on a Sunday to see the new location and say hi to you all. So perhaps you will see me in the near future. For those of you that would like to, please pray for my Mom and my family at this time. We definitely could use any support and love that you would care to send our way. | 
